Im diagnosing myself with Post Tramatic Stress Disorder stemming from our break-in in Aug or Sept last year(cant remember).
It all started last night. I was at home getting ready to go to bed and I started feeling like something was telling me not to go to sleep whatsoever. I felt like my heart was racing, and like I was short of breath. I was scared out of my mind all I could do was cry uncontrollably in fear of what may happen if I went to sleep. I ended up staying at my grandparents and was able to relax somehow and fell asleep. All was good when I woke up.
Now Im feeling anxious again. Not like I'm not supposed to sleep, just real anxious and panicky. I picked up to go into work 11-7 tonight so I was sleeping for a few hours. I woke up and just felt like weird. Im kinda afraid to go home and shower and crap. I dont know if its a mixture of my hormones going whack and buddy not being home, or if its the start of something somewhat serious. And mind you, Im already on medication for anxiety(that has been under control since starting meds like 5 y ears ago).
I definately don't want this to continue because I feel like Im back in high school and having panick attacks! If you've never had one, they are SUPER SCARY. I dont know how long to let this keep happening before I call my doc. I dont want to call tomorrow and than be fine but I dont want to keep going through this, if it keeps happening.
All I can do is cry because I dont know what is happening to me.
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((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel on a smaller scale, I'm sure. I HATE when Nick works third (like tonight). We had two men murdered one neighborhood over and I would literally stay up sick re-checking locks, turning on every stinkin' light, and leaving the TV on in the bedroom until I would pass out from sheer exhaustion. I would sleep with both my cell phone and the house phone in each hand!
In the end, I needed to take my own advice that I give Brynn when she is freaking out after a bad dream (she gets REALLY horrible, vivid nightmares)...I just had to give it over to God.
I obviously didn't go through anything as traumatic as you *shudder* I can't imagine how paranoid I would be if our house was broken into...but aside from talking to your doc about it...prayer is all I got! I will definitely keep you in mine!